Cannot bat, bowl, field, or even talk on the field anymore if you’re an Australian. After that well-publicised sandpaper debacle, it seems as though Australia have lost their identity. Ironically they lose it in a place surrounded by… sand.

The out-going Pakistani’s secured a 1-0 series win over Tim Paine’s men following their 373 run victory in Abu Dhabi on Friday. After the visitors had salvaged an unlikely draw in the First Test, lady luck certainly was not on their side for the following game.

Starc Outscores Marsh Brothers

There is no argument that Australia’s biggest worry, at this moment in time, is their batting. When Mitch and Shaun Marsh are being outscored by a tailender, you know there are serious problems. Over the two-match Test series, Mitchell Starc scored 63 runs, with the Marsh brothers posting a measly 44 runs between them.

If that doesn’t piss you off as an Australian and make you laugh uncontrollably as an Englishman, then I don’t know what will! Aside from a few faces, i.e. Aaron Finch, Travis Head and Usman Khawaja, the rest of the Australian batsman might not wear the baggy green again.

Azhar Ali Feels Sorry For Aussies

We saw the rarest of rare sights during this Test match when Azhar Ali felt so sorry for the Aussies that he decided to run himself out. The incident doesn’t need explaining again because the whole cricketing world has already seen it. Surely, that run-out occurred because Azhar felt sorry for the opposition. If that’s not the case then I expect the ICC to install cash machines on cricketing fields across the world. How are things going, Sanath?!

Abbas Mimics Anderson

Mohammad Abbas has taken his bowling to another level. And one that commands huge respect. His figures in Test cricket after ten matches are quite remarkable. For me, it’s not just the stats that are incredible, but the conditions in which he has taken his wickets in. The Pakistani seamer has 59 wickets from his ten matches at an average of 16. Seven of those games have been played in what you would consider ‘sub-continental’ like conditions. Imagine this guy regularly playing on seamer-friendly wickets?!

Nonetheless, what Abbas did to the Aussies on home soil is what Jimmy Anderson has been doing to the Aussies in England for years. Wrecking them, left, right and centre. Of course, Abbas doesn’t touch the talent and skill set of Jimmy, but in his own right, he can become a top-quality bowler for Pakistan in years to come.