Who cares about the football World Cup? Alright so quite a few of you. Maybe that’s the wrong tact to start with. Never mind. Over here in the cricketing world we may get swept up in England expectation but it’s important cricket remains our priority. Tell you what. Why don’t you turn down ITV’s Glenn Hoddle spouting shit and listen to Whitto spouting shit about cricket instead? You can watch the football and listen to us. Match made in heaven. Or hell. Yeah, probably hell. Cricket’s coming home?

Rumours have circulated over many years about the enigmatic Loch Ness Monster. Is it green? Does it have a spiky tail? Has anybody seen the darn creature or is it a crock of shite? Well we’re here to tell you folks that it must exist because this week an event occurred which means anything doubtful in Scotland is real. Scotland beat England in an ODI. Real I tell you.

Our explorer Whitto travels right to the heart of the story and peels back the layers, like a monkey peeling a banana. After scratching his bottom a bit too much, we hear about how the Scots pulled off a victory which makes William Wallace look like a toddler. Albeit a toddler with a claymore. Stereotyping like a wee man, Whitto can’t resist slipping into that sexy accent. And boy does he sound sexy. The Sean Connery impression will have you reaching for that tube of lube; to fill your ears with the stuff so you don’t have to hear this tripe!

Following Scotland we hear about the Australians attempts to give England back their confidence. Batting like a kangaroo on ice, the Aussies put in a horrific performance in the first ODI at The Oval. Nobody feels sorry for them. In fact we all rather enjoyed this abysmal display, as they managed to embarrass themselves without the use of sandpaper. Skipper Tim Paine is sorrowful, especially after Whitto rubs it in.  We hear from him and ex-coach Lehman too.

Plus there’s a county champ round up, amazement at the New Zealand Women and the return of David Attenborough to your screens. Or phones. However you listen to us.

Subscribe to get us every week. Enjoy my friends. Enjoy!