We never shy away from the big talking points in cricket and this podcast episode is no exception. A whole 18 minutes of satire devoted to one thing… a pool proposal! Or at least it would be, were it not for the ginger bear that is Jonny Bairstow. For at a player gathering before the Gabba test, Bairstow greeted Cameron Bancroft… with a headbutt. What a butthead. See what we did there, Headbutts & Buttheads? Genius.

Our ginger wickie claims it’s a recognised form of greeting. I’d love to meet the people who greet each other with a nut to the forehead. Who’s he been hanging around with? Deer? Toddlers? Himself in the mirror? (Ah that would explain his bad luck recently…) Whoever has whispered this into his ear has clearly been playing a large prank. Mind you if anyone is going to be greeted with a headbutt, who better than an arrogant Aussie?!

It certainly added to the spice of the Gabba test. A fiery cauldron of paprika, which bubbled with Aussie delight. And who hit the winning runs? Why, Bancroft of course! England’s first innings score of 302 featured two shocking half centuries, by Vince and Malan. Shocking because that’s never occurred before. Unlike a skipper century by Smith who took the match away from Root’s boys with a superb 141. Once Starc and Hazlewood were ahead of steam, England collapsed with barely a whimper. Setting Warner and Bannie on the path to victory.

But what about that pool proposal eh? Who cares England were beheaded like thankless chickens at the Gabbatoire. We only want to know whether the girl said yes to her bloke proposing in the outfield pool, surrounded by beer swigging Aussies. In a fit of investigative journalism we talk to the lady herself…

England are 1-0 down. Therefore we reckon you’ll need this satirical podcast to survive the next month. That and headbutting any Aussies you meet!