By the time you hear this weeks pod, England will probably be all out for 184. No way. I’m spot on? What wizardry is this I hear you cry? This guy is a genius! I’ve got a little secret for you… this article is written at 4:40pm on Thursday. So yeah… Although this piece is completely accurate, the contents of the pod might already be a little, well you now, living in fantasyland.

In the show Whitto presents a match report which is a teeny bit different to real life, undergoes a serious medical examination and provides a ‘hilarious’ take on Pakistan’s chances of winning this series.

Last time around Pakistan captain Misbah-ul-Haq demonstrated his youthful gaiety by completing ten press ups at Lord’s. In his honour Whitto attempts ten of his own in the bedroom… with disastrous consequences. Only Mike Gatting would end up redder in the face. Which is saying something, cause our hosts face is now permanently like a tomato.

To alleviate his stress we witness a kids game of Top Trumps, between the two sets of players. Remember how Top Trumps used to last forever, as one of you would mount an epic comeback with just two cards left? Yeah. This game lasts about as long as Trump’s patience with North Korea. And like our pumpkin faced president, the end result is just as explosive. Cover your ears because the screaming reaches helium induced levels.

We’ve got an invented song for young Dominic Bess, which we’re positive will catch on. Just a shame the demo was recorded by a guy who scores ‘Hopeless’ on Singstar (bugs me every day that does). There’s also a round up of the Royal London One Day Cup, a chat with a Bristol granny and a tearful goodbye to AB.

So what you waiting for? Turn that England batting frown upside down and laugh along to this weeks show! Don’t forget to subscribe via your device so you can ‘enjoy’ every show.