It’s a nightmare show this week as you enter one of Whitto’s nightmares. Not the one about the carrot, parsnip and his anus… thank goodness. Sweet dreams (are not made of this) is a rather apt title for there are zero sweet dreams this week. Particularly when it comes to England duty, as test match cricket has returned. With a complete whimper.

All because of England’s nightmarish performance against New Zealand. We start the show with a dissection of that absolutely horrendous performance. 58 all out? Howzat for a laugh?! A sickly, coughing, TB laugh, full of blood and mucus. Utter, utter nonsense. One of England’s lowest ever test match scores and after The Ashes humiliation, Trevor Bayliss surely can’t be holding the reigns for much longer. We have some tearful moments this week – you’ll be reaching for the tissues before you know it.

Or perhaps you’re just excited? For even in the face of adversity we provoke your laughing senses. Any whiff of hysteria and Whitto is in hot pursuit; like a dog with a crotch, he is on heat. For some reason there’s a historical note with the Black Death. After all it was only 700 years ago… finally the truth outs itself!

It’s a disturbing show from a disturbed mind. Mind you not as disturbed as the dreams of Root and Bayliss. Have England reached their nadir? Well have a listen and see what the fuck has been going on…

Sweet dreams are made of this podcast

Who are you to disagree?!