Dry January is over which means it’s time to get completely sloshed on a brand new series of nobody’s favourite cricket podcast! Grab that bottle of vodka from the airing cupboard and swig along with the show. Trust us… it’ll be 10 times funnier if you’re pissed. Unlike the England cricket team who all cry as one, ‘Why’s the rum gone?’

Due to an inability to function as cricketers, there is no rum to be found in the West Indies. Consequently Joe Root’s band of buccaneers are prevented from celebrating with that sweet nectar, until they put a decent performance together. Which isn’t looking likely. However your satirical cricket podcast comes to the rescue! Unhinge those aching jaw muscles, as Whitto steers the ship through the choppy waters of wit. Passing islands of ‘Take-The-Piss’ and ‘Lolia’ he revisits the Barbados test. Prepare to be boarded by thickly accented pirates, rabid soft toys and fortune tellers.

Considering it’s been over a month since we last set sail, our ship (podcast) amazingly stays afloat. The harbour repairs mean it’s well oiled and unlikely to leak. Unless Whitto dives in with Brexit chat and sexual innuendos.

Oh bugger me hearties!

Hop aboard and let’s go find some booty. Because you’ve missed us really, right? With England floundering in the Second Test at Antigua, stick your headphones in and swim away down to Davy Jones locker, where you’re bound to meet the tentacly figure himself.

‘Do you fear laughing yourself to death, Mr Turner?’

Well how about you give it a go…