You know that bloke Aesop? The one who wrote fables about all sort of stuff, like the ape and the fox or the cock and the jewel? (That ones about Posh and Becks) Well turns out he was actually wrong. Hence on this week’s podcast Whitto reads the true version of the lion and the tortoise. And yep seems like Aesop even got his animals wrong on that one.

With all the storytelling ability of a Scout leader round a campfire, Whitto presents a chilling tale of deceit, deception and danger. He orates like the great Roman philosophers, weaving a parable of such startling simplicity even Joey Essex would grasp it. But not the England cricket team. Oh yes, if you haven’t guessed by now, it’s aimed at those forlorn England boys. After such an embarrassing defeat to Pakistan we attempt to coach, through the art of fables. Failing that it’s down to mockery and abuse. Rather like normal then!

Whilst Pakistan were out of this world last week, England dropped to the very depths of despair. We naturally have an opinion on their performance, being as kind as a food critic who’s sampled Greggs’ new ‘summer’ menu. In fact we even interview some green in the face spectators. It all gets a bit mad.

Away from the test match; there’s a summary of the One Day Cup, why the toss isn’t being tossed and a mention of match fixing allegations (hence our lawyers are on standby).

Oh and naughty monks, impatient carpenters, dead ducks and much, much more!

You know the drill… find us on your podcast platform, hit subscribe and receive us straight to your ears every Thursday eve! What better way to prepare for another drubbing by Pakistan than by listening to the show. At least we’ll make you laugh about it all. Honest.