It really does not feel like seven days have passed since I last scribbled down a load of thoughts for you all to digest under the guise of a weekly cricket column.

Neither does it feel like that long since England were celebrating a very good English summer having seen off India in the Test series.

Hang on, it wasn’t that long ago. Surrey have only just stopped partying since their Championship win took the title back to its rightful home. And yet it says here England are already in Sri Lanka?

Preparing Like Pros

Yes, my information is accurate. England were due to play a Sri Lanka Board XI in a one-day affair to help them prepare for the five ODIs against Sri Lanka starting on Wednesday. The only problem was, it rained. Therefore the chance for Liam Plunkett and the brothers Curran to impress the selectors was washed away and England will head to Dambulla massively undercooked.

Undercooked might not be the best turn of phrase as conditions on Wednesday are expected to be extremely humid. Leading Chris Woakes to suggest that the fast bowlers might have to bowl very short spells. If selected, Chris. If selected. I can see young Sam Curran immediately doing everything he can to show Eoin Morgan that he is more than capable of bowling ten in a row no matter what % humidity is out there.

They did get some cricket in on Friday, however, with both Morgan and Test skipper Joe Root slapping 90s before being declared winners by the DLS method.

So how did the boys spend Saturday instead? A bit of indoor practice? Hit the gym? Watch analysis of how the Sri Lanka side might bat and bowl? Don’t be daft. They played some FIFA19, mucked about on social media updating their Instagram accounts before watching Conor McGregor get beaten up in a UFC fight.

Home Track Bullies

India have wasted no time in sorting themselves out since their beating on English soil. Not only have they unearthed a new Sachin Tendulkar in 18-year-old Prithvi Shaw (now the scorer of the fastest Test hundred on debut or the youngest Indian to score a ton on debut or even both, I don’t actually know), but they’ve dished out their largest ever Test victory in history by smashing the West Indies by an innings and 272 runs inside just three days.

Kohli, Shaw and Jadeja all got tons as India declared on 649 for 9. Then skittled the Windies twice for far less than that. Couldn’t do that in England though, eh boys?

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie?

You could give me a list of Australian sounding names right now and I would struggle to identify the Test cricketers within it. Justin Langer is trying to make his mark on the Baggie Greens and they will be making three changes to the side for the 1st Test against Pakistan in Dubai.

Those three are Marnus Labuschagne, Aaron Finch (heard of him) and Peter Siddle (yeah, know him too). Siddle is back after a two-year absence, apparently. Still, they’d probably still beat us Down Under.